"Once there was a tree...and she loved a little boy."

Read this book's text HERE

If you haven't read, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, lately I implore you to do so. I rarely read it to my son, because as a super emotional mommy I can barely get through it without shedding some tears. I have "the feels" like no one else and can cry at the drop of a sappy dime. However, tonight after a wonderful day alone with him, just mommy and son time, I couldn't help but think of the story as I watched him sweetly fall asleep after a few books himself. The opening line played in my mind over and over, "Once there was a tree...and she loved a little boy." And I kept thinking: I am definitely that tree.

I am not equipped with the words to describe how I truly feel about him. I know that is a bit of a cop-out, but it's so true! Recently, I was lucky enough to have a short, but so meaningful, conversation with a new mommy. We were talking about how you really just don't know how much you'll love your baby until you do. And the feeling is almost indescribable and totally unbelievable. When I was pregnant with him I loved him, but I always worried that I wouldn't love him adequately. Like, what if I wasn't enough for him. And, then they are born and you still don't feel adequate enough, but you have no question on whether or not your love is. It is truly, perfect love.  

So, as I think about The Giving Tree, I can't help but think of all those parents out there who embody
that of the tree. Giving and giving and giving some more. And coming up with solutions to give even when you don't have exactly what is needed. Now, I'm not talking about the giving of frivolous things. Although, I do indulge my little guy on occasion (wink, wink) just for the simple joy of seeing him happy. Hey, I am completely aware of how much I was spoiled as a child and I do enjoy giving him that bit of non-warranted pleasure just because. Instead here, I am talking about the meaningful take everything that I have kind of giving that we do as parents. The giving of your time, your resources, your sleep, your youth, your plans, your branches...whatever they may be. And the selfless giving, that while you may complain about at the time, you would do over and over again just to make that little one (or not so little one) happy.

And, a lot of the time you may feel that, that kind of giving goes unnoticed, just like the boy in the story. However, if that boy is anything like most somewhere down the line, perhaps when they have little ones of their own, they will remember all that giving. They will get a taste of how sometimes that giving makes you feel empty, but with one little smile, or thank you, or I love you it fills you right back up to the brim. Hopefully, there is more gratitude then that of this story, but let's face it, we'd keep giving even if there wasn't. It's this point where I can see how some people, even Shel himself, believe this story to be a sad one. All that taking, all that sacrifice for what? Well guess what, I don't see it that way. I hope to get gratitude for all that I do as a parent, I hope to instill a sense of grace and humility into my little man. I hope to help mold him into a giving man who thinks of others first and if he doesn't I'd be saddened greatly. Let's be real sometimes all that giving pays off and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes your happy...but not really (just like the tree). That's life. However, I'd keep giving either way. I am that tree.

I love him, most indescribably.

Now, I hope in years to come your beautiful babies visit you for a quiet place to sit and rest, as the boy did. And in all that sitting and resting I hope they are happy and I hope you are happy too. I hope you as parents understand your importance...

Thank you mom and dad for giving and giving and giving. No how much I understand all that you have done for me and understand how much I am grateful for it.

Our big reveal!

It was the big day!

The day we would get the chance to peek inside and see our little one growing. Our anxiety was high as we painstakingly waited for our afternoon appointment to arrive....seriously who schedules an ultrasound for this late in the day! 

Waiting is hard. 

While waiting, I prayed, the same prayer I had been praying for months, a variation of a common prayer most parents have said I am sure! A prayer for clear pictures of a healthy heart, developing brain, and growing body. I hoped for kicks and movements that I would be able to see and feel. And I excitingly, longed to see a sweet face and find out if we were going to be meeting a boy or girl soon....Are you longing for the same reveal?

 Well hold tight I am almost there, I promise! 

Teaser

 After we finally got into the doctor's office and they lathered me up with "the glue," (as the little guy referred to it) I started to relax. It's amazing to me, that at what should have been the most nerve racking moment, the moment the ultrasound technician isn't saying a word and you are just left to scour between the screen and her face, having zero luck trying to figure out what all those little blobs are or mean,  that I would be calm. All I can say, ladies and gents, is that God is amazing, and he knows when I need his calm and believe me that doesn't come naturally to me. He has provided me with His calm on many stressful occasions. So, in that relaxed moment I silently thanked him and waited, this time patiently. 

After a few minutes of pushing and shaking my belly; finally a few turns from side to side...we got to see our little one clearly. All the waiting was well worth it, but let me tell you...

Girl!

SHE is either very stubborn (my husband's guess) or prefers to be left comfortably, undisturbed (my guess) because getting a clear picture was a very difficult task. I thought my son's ultrasound was difficult having to be rescheduled (almost 2x) because he was curled up so tight, they couldn't get a clear picture of his heart. I was wrong! I am sure most of you have similar ultrasound stories, man it sure can be a high stress situation! Luckily, she looks healthy and the one clear image we got to see, twice actually, was that of her bottom (and perhaps a glimpse into her sense of humor)...and she definitely looks like a she!

"a sister! A SISTER!"

I cannot tell you how excited we are as a family! 

Daddy may already be worrying about his little girl's future too much. Brother is simply over the moon ecstatic. And I, while in shock, I mean I knew it would be one of two outcomes...we weren't getting a monkey after all...still in total shock am blissfully, happy. One of life's great surprises revealed! How special is that?! 

 I feel complete. 

Furthermore, my excitement grows as I get to share the news with you! It means everything to me that, although we are far from home, we have this amazing outlet and are able to let new and old friends experience this milestone right along with us!   

Thanks for reading and being here for us. 

Feel free to leave us a comment below.

It's a...proud big brother

And to our little ones, both of you, you are fearfully and wonderfully made and your mere existence means you are loved!   

Baby Girl <3

"Praise the Lord, for each day he carries us in his arms" Psalm 68:19